Developments

After seeing Christopher wipe out twice the day Nolan got his bike (blood! Crying! Bandaids! Blood!) he desisted from any heavy-duty experiments with biking for all summer, but with gentle persistent encouragement, he will get on and go-but, problem with his desire to go fast but lack of interest in mastering steering first.

He's funny- if he can't master something immediately he tries to delegate it. Examples- eating, he often prefers to be fed basically while he does other things like hold a train. We decide to do a craft, he picks up a marker, starts, it doesn't look like he thought it should, and he defers to me "You do it". Maybe related to out last nanny who although untidy in her living habits always did hyper perfect little crafts and said "they" did them, when it was clear Nolan could never have touched the thing. I mentioned this as a problem repeatedly but she just couldn't let him make a messy kid looking craft. Sad. Will keep working on it.


My babyman is a babyman more than ever, but I stopped using that terminology long ago. He is very very tall for his age, his language skills seem young for his age but his language content occasionally startling in his perceptiveness, and his attachment is as velcro as ever, which rather than a bit exhausting as it used to be, is actually a treasure (sometimes anyway) now that you can kind of reason with him. Tonight, a delighted "Mommy, you are back!!!", a hand pulled into the middle of the living room to see the new traintrack configuration, a lip-tooth-table edge injury requiring comforting- in which I rocked him and murmured soothingly until he seemed better, but the got a request ("More hugs and wocking, mommy".) He still likes to bargain for bedtime books, with an instinctive knowledge of opening high and settling for middle, and will still crowd me into my 8 inch mattress allottment and fall asleep arms around my neck.

Someday, holding hands and a kiss from Mom will be humiliating beyond measure, so better store this up...and I do, my little tank of heartfelt memories where I try to archive the now to appreciate it as much as I can. Being mindful of that helps me keep my temper which can be tested by those preschool impulses to manipulate and test. Focusing on the big picture of how much I love, admire, and want to protect and help my sweet boy also help me allocate my time. Nolan gets my outside of work time, which I am trying to maximize as much as possible. The rest can keep waiting, largely.

Sems a boring post, will try to get back into the swing. I have been making multiple observations about life and people every morning biking to work but forget them by 0400h it seems. Will try to regrow a memory and share more thoughts.