McSweeney's - excerpt from the Lists section

By the way- a real post is below too

Toddler T-Shirt Slogans

BY DARRYL BERGER

Acceptable

Ask me about the C-section.

Still peeved about missing the millennium.

I buried my heart at Legoland.

Waiting for Godot.

Stop the war. Already.

Stunt double for Katie Holmes's baby.

Unacceptable

Property of Child and Family Services

Glad those stairs were carpeted.

I beheld then because of the voice of the great words which the horn spake: I beheld even till the beast was slain, and his body destroyed, and given to the burning flame.

Daddy didn't want me.

Ask me about the extra digit.

Grandma won't shut up.